she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
