I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
