i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
