he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize