I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom