dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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