I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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