i just identified you from a description of your pipe
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
