another moral hangover. fuck.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
