peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
