Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
