went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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