Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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