it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
