Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
