so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
