haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
honey bunches of taint.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
