Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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