if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
