If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Help. Why am I so naked?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
