If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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