There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
