If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
