did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
