I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
