Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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