Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
