Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
