Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
