a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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