1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Only a mothe r could love this liver
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
