if only i could text you this smell
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
