I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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