I wanna passion pit in your ass
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
