I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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