just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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