I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
