Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
