She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
