12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
