This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
