and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
