**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.