So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.