You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Thank you for not boning my boss.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
