so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
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my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
