I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.