Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
