It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
