i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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