there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
