I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
