I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
