We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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