I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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