saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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