I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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