so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
