you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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