If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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